Facing Doubt
by elrosia
Summary: What if Ron had reacted a little differently to the news about Hermione kissing Krum?


_**A/N:**_ _Set during Half-Blood Prince after Ron's fight with Ginny, before he started dating Lavender. Bit of an AU posing the question: What if Ron had reacted a little differently? All feedback appreciated! Thanks._

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ _All characters belong to JK Rowling_

Ron sat slumped in an armchair in the corner of the Gryffindor common room. Arms crossed, oblivious to the chatter and laughter of the students surrounding him, he stared sullenly at the patterns on the rug at his feet. Several loud _bangs_ from a nearby game of Exploding Snap could be heard intermittently, but he hardly seemed to register the sound.

Ron was busy brooding over the argument he had recently had with his younger sister, Ginny. One phrase in particular kept playing and replaying in his mind. _Hermione snogged Viktor Krum. Hermione snogged Viktor Krum. Hermione snogged—_ He huffed out a breath of air and rubbed a hand over his face. _It's not like it matters,_ he thought to himself. _If she wants an ugly, duck-footed git who's too old for her and too thick to even pronounce her name properly, then who I am to complain? She can snog whoever she wants._ Suddenly his mind was filled with the image of Hermione wrapped in the Bulgarian Seeker's arms, her lips pressed tightly to his. He felt he was going to be sick.

"I need some air," Ron grumbled to himself as he heaved his body out of the armchair he had been inhabiting for the past few hours. As he stepped past the game that was still going on, a couple of fellow Gryffindors called out to him to join them, waving him over. Ron continued on as though he hadn't heard—which, in fact, he hadn't, being too wrapped up in his own gloomy thoughts to take much notice of anything. "What's his problem?" one of them muttered.

Exiting through the portrait hole, Ron shoved his hands into his pockets and shuffled down the corridor, making his way towards the Astronomy Tower. As he came to the bottom of the tower, Ron began to climb the steep spiral staircase. Finally reaching the top, he pushed through the heavy wooden door, stepping out onto the roof. He took a deep breath, lungs filling with the crisp night air, and felt some of the weight of his oppressive thoughts lift a little. He walked out towards the edge of the tower, leaning over the low wall as he looked out over the grounds. The night seemed still and quiet.

Ron turned his face up to the starry sky, absently identifying constellations to himself, before realizing what he was doing. Feeling a little surprised at himself for knowing so many, his mind turned to all those evenings he'd spent with Hermione as she pored over his Astronomy homework for him. He hadn't realized he'd been paying so much attention to her instruction. What he mostly remembered was the way her brow furrowed as she studied the pages while chewing her bottom lip, the almost triumphant look in her eyes as she caught his mistakes, and the small satisfied smile that would turn up at the corner of her mouth as she corrected them. He thought of her serious expression as she would lecture him on planets and constellations in her most know-it-all tone of voice.

She really was a know-it-all. But, somehow, Ron didn't seem to mind it. In fact, if he were being completely honest with himself, he rather enjoyed it. There was something about Hermione's cool, passionate gaze and confident tones as she went on about the seemingly endless subjects that interested her that made him want to—he stopped himself. There was no point following that train of thought. She would never see him that way. _Why would someone like her want someone like me?_ he asked himself dispiritedly as self-defeat and doubt began to overtake him yet again.

The night was growing colder and Ron realized dejectedly that fresh air wasn't really helping him to clear his head after all. He sighed and made his way over to the door, throwing one last glance towards the night sky before descending the long staircase to the bottom of the tower. He didn't really feel like returning to the Gryffindor common room just yet and, having nowhere else to go, began to wander aimlessly through the castle.

Without noticing in which direction he was headed, Ron found himself before long standing in front of the tall doorway leading into the Hogwarts library. He hesitated only a moment before shuffling in and looking around. He spotted her before he realized what he was even looking for. Hermione sat by herself at a long table in the corner of the room, a stack of books piled in front of her as she pored over one large tome. Ron stood frozen, indecisive. He just watched her for a few minutes, her head bent over the book in front of her, hair falling forward over her shoulders, half-concealing her face. As she turned a page, she glanced up and spotted him, eyes widening slightly as her mouth formed automatically into a pleased smile before falling uncertainly.

There was nothing for it now. Ron stepped forward towards the table where Hermione sat looking confused. "What are you doing here?" she asked him as he reached the table and took a seat opposite her.

Ron hesitated, frowning. _What_ am _I doing here?_ he thought. "Er...well…" he stammered uncertainly, then said all in a rush, "I wanted to ask you something."

Hermione looked surprised, then wary. "Ok…" she said hesitatingly.

The tips of his ears became tinged with a bright shade of red as Ron sat silent for a moment, before blurting out a little too loudly, "Is it true?"

Hermione flinched and glanced around apprehensively for signs of Madam Pince. "Is what true?" she whispered.

Ron debated with himself momentarily, seriously considering just getting up and running out of there now, but something held him fast to his chair. Stubbornness began to set in as he decided he needed to know. He did not allow himself to think about the reason why he needed to know. Ron continued, speaking in a lower tone this time. "Is it true about you and…did you…were you and…" he faltered, unable to bring himself to speak those words.

Hermione stared at him silently, bewildered.

"You and Krum," Ron grunted, finally.

Surprise lit Hermione's features, swiftly growing into alarm. "What are you talking about?" she asked in a low voice.

Ron's entire face was flushed red now as he asked somewhat accusingly, "Did you snog him?"

Hermione's eyes went wide with shock and her cheeks tinged a faint pink as she replied hotly, "Honestly, Ron! That was ages ago. What does it even matter to you?"

Ron took this response as confirmation. His expression darkened as he said brusquely, "It doesn't." Then he stood up to leave.

Hermione, eyes now beginning to water, stood also. "Ron," she began, but just then Madam Pince swooped out from somewhere amongst the rows of dusty bookshelves, vehemently shushing them and threatening to throw them out if they would not keep silent.

"I was just leaving," said Ron as he turned and stormed out of the library.

Hermione hesitated only a moment before following. She caught up to him as he rounded the corner into the next hallway. Grabbing his arm, she spun him around, demanding angrily, "What is the matter with you?"

Ron glared at her as he growled, "Nothing."

Hermione glared back at him, eyes wet with tears threatening to spill over. She angrily swiped at them as she shouted, "Obviously there's something!"

"Of course you always think there's something wrong with me," Ron replied moodily, "I guess there was nothing wrong with _Vicky_ , was there?"

Hermione huffed in frustration. Clenching her fists, she was sorely tempted to strangle him in this moment, but managed to contain herself. "Ronald, you are being ridiculous. There isn't anything going on with me and Viktor! I haven't even spoken to him in ages and I don't understand why you're dredging up the past now!"

"Yeah, whatever," muttered Ron, staring past Hermione at the wall behind her. He knew why. He couldn't stop thinking about that bastard putting his hands on her—putting his _mouth_ on her! —he recoiled from the thought, his stomach churning, boiling with something like rage.

Hermione covered her face with her hands for a moment. Taking a deep breath, she sighed it out and looked up at him. Ron met her gaze finally as she said helplessly, "I just don't know what you want from me, Ron."

Ron felt all the anger of the previous moment begin to slowly drain from him, to be replaced by something even stronger. It resonated out from the center of his chest, dropping down into the pit of his stomach as it flowed through his veins, setting his nerves buzzing and his skin on fire. He knew what he wanted.

As Ron looked down at Hermione, he forgot for just a moment all his jealousy and self-doubt as he looked into her eyes, so open and vulnerable, seemingly asking him a question. He felt a heat begin to build up inside of him. Ron unconsciously moved closer to her, wetting his lips. Hermione's eyes briefly flickered down to his mouth before darkening as they returned to meet his gaze. Feeling doubt begin to creep back up on him, Ron resolutely shoved it back down as he closed the gap between them. Hermione drew in a breath, waiting.

Ron tentatively reached out a hand and brushed Hermione's hair back from her face. When she didn't flinch, he grew bolder and gently placed a hand against her cheek. Hermione made a small noise in the back of her throat and as though this were a signal, Ron swooped his head down as she tilted hers up to meet his. His lips crashed into hers, an electric shockwave traveling from his mouth throughout his entire body. His senses were overtaken and he was aware only of her soft lips pressed against his and her thick curls as his hands tangled themselves in her hair. Ron pulled away after a moment, looking at her dazedly, as though he couldn't quite believe what he had done. Hermione was gazing up at him, breathless, eyes shining.

Ron felt abruptly awkward, unsure of Hermione's reaction. _Oh god, what did I do?_ he thought, panicked. _Did I just wreck everything?_ His mind racing, he began to pull away when Hermione grasped his robes, tugging gently, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. Ron's face split suddenly into a grin, and he pulled her to him, capturing her mouth with his once again. Running his tongue across her lips, he deepened the kiss, feeling her respond as she wrapped her arms around his neck and laced her fingers through his hair. He groaned, sliding his hands around her waist, and lifted her up, pressing her body into his. As he heard a small moan escape her lips, he felt his body shudder. "Hermione," he mumbled against her mouth.

It was some time before they broke apart. Looking down at her, Ron took in Hermione's slightly disheveled appearance, eyes roaming from her messy hair and pink cheeks, to her bright eyes and the soft smile playing on her rosy lips. _Gods, she's beautiful,_ he thought to himself.

"Um…that was…" she mumbled.

"Er…yeah…" he said hoarsely, chuckling slightly. She responded with a small giggle and before he knew it they were both enveloped in laughter.

"Erm, well, I suppose that answers my question…" said Hermione when their laughter had finally subsided.

"Yeah," said Ron with a crooked smile as Hermione beamed up at him, "I reckon it does."

Ron then turned and, grasping Hermione's hand, began to make his way back with her to the Gryffindor common room. Glancing over at her as she walked beside him, Ron was filled with a sense of elation. He suddenly felt he could do anything, with Hermione by his side.


End file.
